October 4th 2014 - Time Flies, Or Does It?

Note:  I will return to the Ira story in a couple of days.

People have a tendency to tell me, “time moves fast, in the blink-of-an-eye your life will have passed you by.”

It bugs me.  They’re correct, it does move fast, but the truth is not what bothers me.  It isn’t because what’s left of my youth is boxed up in storage, or the house I grew up in has had three different owners since I lived there.  Nor does it bother me that death is closer today than yesterday.  No, I look forward to aging.  To less responsibility - watching the next generation figure out how to secure air traffic control tower computer systems from a Michelangelo virus.  I look forward to restful frequent naps at varying locations in my house to enhance my dreams.  I look forward to crazy old man sex and whatever new challenges that comes with it.

No, what bugs me about those people that say, “time moves like the wind on the back of a hummingbird,” its this…

If you know it, and it’s true and it’s true for everybody, then stop telling me what I already know and instead figure out a way to make today last!  Figure out if right now, you are making a memory for yourself, that you are proud as fuck at what you did with your time, right now.  Maybe even excited about it.

Please remove the strychnine of regret out of the statement and appreciate someone, including yourself.  Better yet, the next time someone says, “time flies like the Helicobacter in your gut,” why not say actually,  “not really,” and then explain it, “today seems like it’s really stretched out for me, and this year, well yeah, I’ve done a lot this year, and last year too, kind of looking forward to next year.”

Here are my top 5 ways to slow time and to live everything to its fullest capacity - Every day.

5 Daily Practices To Slow Down and Enjoy Life for Awhile

1.  Everyday, write.  This can be as loosely defined as Captain Kirk’s log.  No detailing every breathe, food and color hair of the Iranian at the Shell station.  But rather state the date, where you are, and write about anything that comes to mind (even voice record).  This exercise can be as little as 10 minutes or more.

2.  Spend at least 30 minutes by yourself not sleeping, not working, not servicing others or taking care of them.  This can include a walk, cooking, or baking, gardening, etc.  If you need to make a number 2 while doing number 1 that is okay too.

3.  Listen to everyone who talks to you by looking in their eyes.  Not thinking of what you are going to say next but actually relishing in their world, words, and song or sonnet.  This is respecting their life on this planet.  Their breath and space and time for maybe 2 minutes.  Give them the grace of existing - and truly listen.   You will feel better for it, and they will too.

4.  Sing Out Loud.  This is a hard one.  It shakes people up.  But when you’re dead, you won’t be afraid of what people think.  If you don’t care, they will be moved to do it too.  NOTE:  Changing lyrics to songs you don’t know is encouraged, unless you are singing the National Anthem.

5.  Say out loud every day at least one thing  that you are grateful for.  You can’t fake-it-tell-you-make-it on this one.  You have to come up with Real gratitude every day.  Even if you say Stewie from the Family Guy - it counts, the little fucker is hilarious.

Everything on this list is effortless.  You may need a reminder to acknowledge you did them because frankly there is a good chance you already do them without thinking.  And if so, then you can enjoy the time.  You can say, “I am already a canvas on which the game is played, no need to enroll me, I’m in the thick of it, and kicking its ass.”

And the next time Johnny Sunshine tells me, “time flies like the Ranch Doritos in the lunch bag of the metro 124 bus driver.”

I can answer, “no, not really.  Just bad breath and sticky fingers.”