It occurred to me in a flash - what got me to this exact place at this exact moment in time.
“Candice, it is unusual to me that I chose to go for a run on this evening. I don’t do this, but tonight is a special night for me. I realize that you decided to come out here and whatever the reason or reasons I’m here and I don’t believe it is an accident.”
“All the choices I’ve made, actions and reactions in my life could have taken me anywhere, but they all led me to you, here, now. The shear magic of this fact is amazing to me, especially when I think that maybe, just maybe, everything that has happened was solely for the purpose of meeting you here tonight. I feel it is a truth just as I feel all the tingling hairs on my body right now. Do you hear what I’m saying? How special it makes us? How special that makes you?”
Her feet shifted back the slightest amount putting the soles of her shoes back on the ledge and not hanging over the side. It was something, she wasn’t speaking to me, but she was listening.
“The past sixty days I’ve seen so much, and a lot that has scared me. Everything culminated on this day and now I know why. Every situation, every stop light, left turn, smile and cry has brought me here with you.”
She whimpered a little louder, her legs and body shuttered. I looked behind me and noticed cars stopped driving along the bridge. I looked down the street and the police had blocked traffic. I hoped a boat would come through from below but there wasn’t any sign.
I had to keep her engaged, the police were coming.
“Can you tell me about your day today?” I paused and waited. She didn’t say anything.
“I saw two people today that I haven’t seen in years, it was the strangest thing. Does that ever happen to you? The universe was trying to tell me something,” a police car pulled up behind me with the flashing lights exploding the sky and reflecting from the water. Candice saw it too and stiffened and looked down to the water. I could see her face looking left and right, I panicked.
“Candice, I’m not going anywhere. They are here to help. Don’t be frightened.” Two more police cars and then two more police cars, I looked behind me and there was a line of them. Several officers got out and a man in a brown overcoat got out as well. They approached me and the overcoat pulled me back.
“What’s the situation?” He was thin and tall and reminded me of what a detective or lieutenant would look like. I handed him her Id.
“Her name is Candice, she hasn’t said anything but she seems to be listening.”
“Okay, I’ll take it from here, I need you to give the officer a statement,” he pointed at an officer who was thick chested, stacked full of kevlar.
“Candice, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, the police are going to talk to you now.”
Overcoat leaned over the bridge railing and spoke, “Candice, I know what you’re going through,” those were his first words, and I thought to myself, she is going to jump. This was their special talker, their negotiator? The big chested officer took me aside to take my statement.
“Name and address please,” he had his little book out and collected my name and the details leading up to being on the bridge. I told him about the cab driver and just hoping speaking to her would stall her from jumping.
“Can a boat be brought in?” I asked.
“They are working that but it doesn’t look like one will be available for an hour or so.”
I looked back at Candice and she was talking to the overcoat so that was progress. I heard her asking for the police cars to go away. Overcoat commanded they pull the cars out. There was about ten or twelve police officers standing around chewing tobacco. In a matter of minutes the ground looked like it was raining but instead it was chew stains.
“Okay, you can go, thank you for your help,” the officer told me.
“I’m not going anywhere - I told her I wasn’t leaving and I’m not going to leave her.”
“He wants to thin out the people.”
“I understand that but whatever the reason for her being here, she didn’t have anyone to go to for help. I was here and told her I would stay, the last thing she needs is another person leaving her.”
It wasn’t a question and the officer backed off as I tried to make myself visible in case Candice turned to look for me.
“I’m still here Candice,” I stated in case she was wondering. The police cars thinned and only a few of us remained. I could hear her faintly talking.
“If I get down I don’t want to be arrested.”
“You aren’t in trouble, we are here to help.”
“Okay,” she turned her body and began to step across to the railing and as she reached, two officers and the overcoat jumped up and grabbed her and pulled her violently to the bridge deck. She started kicking and screaming as they put her in the police car. It all happened fast. I felt sorry for her, although she was safe, in one way that was good, but in another it felt like she was betrayed. I waved at her as she looked out the window, tears streaked down her face.
“So, that’s it then?” I asked the officer who took my statement.
“Yes, we have your statement, if we need anything we’ll call.”
I waited for the car with Candice to drive off. I started jogging across the bridge towards Saint Anthony. Adrenaline was coursing through me. I felt as though my body and my mind were disconnected. I had to force myself to jog, like I’d never done it before, I pretended that this is what it looks like to jog.
I don’t remember the last part of the jog nor coming in the door to my apartment. I remember taking off my shoes and crawling into bed. I tucked my knees into my chest and cried.
It has been several years since this happened. A story I have rarely told. In a way, it seems like the kind of thing you would tell everyone. However, I haven’t. Whenever I have told the story, people state that I saved her. But, as I look back, I realize that the exact thing I needed that night, on the day I received my test scores, feeling confused and torn over what I was going to do with my life; like I’d failed the test. But the universe presented a different kind of test. Candice was there as much for me as I was for her. She gave me the opportunity to see inside of who I am and what I am made of. I didn’t need a stupid test to tell me what kind of person I am. I stared into that water and decided if she jumped I would have too. That was my answer and that is what I carry with me to this day.
I often wonder what happened to Candice. Hopefully, she was able to find some peace. I am not sure if she remembers any of that night. But, if she ever reads this, I want to say thank you Candice.
